Coalgate Scam makes Manmohan Singh shout for the first time

NEW DELHI: It's official now. The Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) has said that the government extended windfall gains of Rs 1.86 lakh crore to private players by distributing coal blocks without bidding over years. 

CAG's report, on what has now come to be known as 'Coalgate', was tabled in Parliament on Friday along with the auditor's findings on similar undue benefits for the promoters of Delhi International Airport Ltd and the Sasan ultra-mega power project in Madhya Pradesh. 

As usual Government denied any possibility of loss and passed the baton to State Governments claiming that the state governments were against any bidding for the distribution of Coal blocks. With 2G and CWG scams already hitting government hard the recent 'Coalgate' scam is only going to make it difficult for PM and company to sit on their seats and opposition will not miss single opportunity to put more pressure on Government.

Manish Tiwari, Congress spokesperson in a press conference said," The Government has not pulled out any scam. Please do not spread any rumours. We are working for nation. See we have saved Rs 1.86 lakh crore of aam aadmi. Ek to ek hum sasti cheezein bech rahe hain and instead of saying thank you. You guys are questioning us? Isn't that shameful. We are shameless that doesn't mean you guys have to act the same way."

Mr. Shivraj Patil, Union Home minister said,"We wont tolerate any false rumors. Any person caught spreading false rumors wont be spared. He will be sent to holiday with Digvijay Singh and our Rahul baba (Rahul Gandhi) will be staying in his home during Election campaigns."

When our correspondent reached out to Mr. Lallu Prashad Yadav, whose party is in alliance with UPA seemed baffled when we asked him his views on 'Coalgate' report by CAG. He asked,"Coalgate?? Toothpaste?? ab us me kaun sa ghafla kar di goverment?."

After a long time Sonia Gandhi spoke. She said, " As promised our government is doing unforgettable work." 

 Sources claim that Government is trying to prove that Manmohan Singh is also a worthy person in the party and people must take him seriously. 

Coal minister Sriprakash Jaiswal said, "The policy adopted to allocate coal blocks was not faulty. There could not be a more transparent policy for allocation. The policy was so transparent that while the deal was been done all the officials present in the room were naked. Ab isse zyada transparent kya hoga?? "

PM Manmohan Singh reacted to the allegation by shouting( He did shout), on media saying," If allegations are proved I will retire from politics. And STOP LAUGHING YOU ALL. I am only 80 now. I will fight sorry contest next elections too"

 Mean while Today in the morning A.Raja tweeted, Hats off to Manmohan. You rock brother!!

Coming up in defence,  PMO, V Narayanasamy, said the CAG had exceeded its mandate. "The report has not been tested by Parliament. The PAC will examine it, then we will see what view emerges," he said. 

Well we have an eye on everything and will update you soon on next findings.
-Siddhant Sharma
Please Note: The story is entirely fake.